the enemy of my enemy is my friend


I’ve been escorting a long time. 2+ years. I’ve pretty much grown numb to the things the antis say to me (and patients) every week. Perhaps that’s to my detriment, but I appreciate not feeling like I’m preparing for battle every Saturday. I don’t even respond to Pooper anymore, if you can believe it.

I started my day at the clinic with Pooper shouting as soon as I got out of my car, per usual. Lately, he’s taken to saying “What is it you DO, you dark and midnight hags?!” He can’t even get Shakespeare right. Regarding the dramatics of the antis, my sister once said “This has to be performance art.” Pro-choice, anti-choice, no matter. How could any semi-logical person really act in such a way? Maybe she was onto something.

A couple got out of their car and started walking toward the door this morning. It was cold, grey, and drizzling. They looked exhausted, although not particularly bothered by the protesters. Just…resigned to 3 hours of their Saturday morning being spent inside the clinic. From outside the fence, Pooper was shouting. “Six women died here! There’s lawsuits against this place! BE A MAN!!”

Something in me snapped. I’m fucking tired of waking up at 5:30 every Saturday and standing in awful weather (save for 3 months out of the year. Thanks, Chicago) because of these antis. They don’t actually care about any real, live person. They believe in a magical man in the sky and a zombie (who are somehow the same, along with a holy spirit) and their mission in life is to make people miserable. You think that couple walking into the clinic wanted to be there on a cold and rainy Saturday morning? They, like me and all of my fellow escorts, probably have a million other things they could be - and want to be - doing. It’s not like the antis actually want to help them. They aren’t being compassionate or empathetic. They’re being cruel. They just want to make patients feel awful so they get those “heaven points” some catholic god keeps track of.

I have absolutely no moral quandary when it comes to abortion (although I respect that some patients do). But that doesn’t make the harassment any less bothersome. If there were a group of strangers yelling at me as I walked into my dentist, or into work, or the gym, or any other place I find tedious or not exactly fun, I’d be fucking livid. I already don’t want to be at [this place] and now there are people desperately trying to make my experience worse? I’d be enraged.

I have so much respect for all my fellow escorts all over the country who put up with this on the regular, and even more for the patients themselves who handle the antis with undeserved dignity and grace.

— 1 year ago with 33 notes
#prochoice  #pro-choice  #clinicdefense  #reprorights 
Anti to me: Does black genocide make you happy? Did you see the eight black couples come in?
Me: No, I don’t have binoculars like you. I’m not a Peeping Tom.

Anti to me: Does black genocide make you happy? Did you see the eight black couples come in?

Me: No, I don’t have binoculars like you. I’m not a Peeping Tom.

— 2 years ago with 1 note
#prochoice  #pro-choice  #clinic defense 
stop apologizing.

I have a crush on RH Reality Check. It’s one of the few online communities that doesn’t flinch, or try to be PC or accommodate differing views (hence their name: RH Reality Check). 

I also have a crush on everyone losing their shit over Komen. Full disclosure: when I ordered my second set of checks when I was 23 years old (about 6-7 years ago and 6-7 years after I opened my teenage checking account at 17 and felt like a grown-up) I ordered Susan G. Komen Foundation checks. My sister, the one who never gave up on me even when I rolled my eyes at her seemingly outdated feminism at the ripe old age of 18, asked me why I made breast cancer my cause.

I don’t think she was asking because she thought it was inherently wrong or bad, but I think she was genuinely curious. Looking back, I’d probably feel the same. At 23, why was I choosing breast cancer over contraception, safe sex, STIs, or the millions of other (reproductive/health) issues that affected women my age? Cancer is devastating. I lost my father to it less than a year ago. None of the issues are better or worse than the other, but it’s not as though at 23 I knew anyone directly affected by breast cancer, or any cancer for that matter. I did know women with unwanted pregnancies, and women and men with unwanted sexual experiences, STIs, and so forth. Why was I writing checks for Susan G Komen? Well, I was 23. Breast cancer was packaged up neatly, and in my favorite color: pink! I could do my part without taking a stand or being polarizing. Who wouldn’t want to save the boobies? Obviously something changed in me, as my next set of checks featured the NOW logo. (I now write so few checks I feature my bank’s logo).

I digress. RH Reality Check posted this today:

I shared it on Facebook and said this:
Such a great post. Of course I want everyone to stand with Planned Parenthood, but when we start quoting “it’s only 3% of what they do!” it’s a disservice to the organization and similar to those who defend abortion “in cases of rape and incest.” Stop apologizing / making excuses - everything Planned Parenthood does is completely necessary for women to be completely healthy - physically, mentally, financially, etc.

Here’s what I mean when I say “Of course I want everyone to stand with Planned Parenthood, but when we start quoting ‘it’s only 3% of what they do!’ it’s a disservice to the organization and similar to those who defend abortion “in cases of rape and incest.”

When someone says they are anti-choice, I have a modicum (NOTE: NOT EMOTICON) of respect for them if they believe abortion is wrong in all circumstances. If you genuinely believe in souls, and life beginning at conception, then why is it ok to abort in cases of rape and incest? If when the sperm meets the egg a soul is formed that is a life, why are you ok with ‘murdering’ that soul, regardless of circumstance?

If someone is against abortion except in cases of rape or incest I have to ask “Why?” If you believe an innocent life is being murdered, why is the mother’s life suddenly more valuable? All things equal, shouldn’t the ‘innocent life’ who hasn’t had a chance yet deserve it more than the mother?

I suppose I just have (some) respect for people who make no excuses for their beliefs or try to excuse anything. We may be polar opposites, but I have an easier time respecting someone who stands for something through and through.

Basically, if you stand with Planned Parenthood, you support a woman’s right to choose regardless of the circumstance. If you need to put a caveat on that, you don’t stand with PP. You aren’t pro-choice.

If you stand with Planned Parenthood, you don’t make excuses. You trust women to make the right decisions for themselves.

— 2 years ago with 4 notes
#prochoice  #pro-choice  #komen  #plannedparenthood 

I will be closing out my documentary weekend at a screening of this in just a few hours, happily surrounded by like-minded people.

— 2 years ago
#prochoice  #pro-choice  #clinic defense 
What Would Jesus Do?

As a clinic escort, I put up with a lot of shit. The number of times I’ve been told I’m going to hell, called a Satanist, a racist (for escorting minority women into the clinic as a white woman), evil…too many to count.  Ninety-nine percent of the time I completely ignore the anti-choice protesters. If I do reply, it’s only to dispute their hypocrisy. Two examples:

Anti: “Not to be judgmental, but YOU’RE GOING TO HELL!”

Me: “Wait. I’m sorry…I thought the Bible said that God is the one true judge? What kind of Christian are you to tell me I’m going to hell?”

Anti (while smoking a cigarette): “THOU SHALT NOT KILL!”

Me: “Second hand smoke kills.”

I’m often amazed at the tactics used by these supposed Christians. It’s probably because my while my brain knows hypocrisy is basically a tenant of organized religion, I was raised* in the United Methodist Church, where God loves everyone, and Jesus was a hippy. We didn’t learn hate in church.

The first time I felt violated was last spring, when I was standing on (private) clinic property, and the antis decided to film me and post it to their website. You can read their post here and watch the actual video here.

Today I was helping two women walk into the clinic from the sidewalk, as they’d unfortunately parked on the street rather than the private clinic parking lot. The man that’s in the video was attempting to prevent them from entering the clinic. I told them that they did not have to listen to him. Note: I didn’t say “don’t listen to him.” That’s the thing about being pro-choice – I’m not pro-abortion (the anti-choice movement LOVES to conflate the two). If a woman doesn’t want to have an abortion, she shouldn’t. If she wants to talk to the antis while on her way to the clinic, she should. My role is to remind patients and their guests that they have every right to walk into the clinic without being accosted and do not need to stop and accept harassment.

Once the women were safely inside, this Christian gentleman turned to me and said, “There’s a special place in hell for bitches like you.”

What would Jesus think of these Christians supposedly doing his work by harassing innocent women? Calling people names? Last I checked, that was the absolute opposite of what Jesus taught. But what do I know? According to this middle aged white man with nothing better to do on Saturdays than leer at women of reproductive age visiting their doctors, I’m going to hell. At least it will be warmer than Chicago in winter.

*I am now an atheist, and every single week at the clinic reinforces my belief that science : fact :: religion : fiction.

— 2 years ago with 1 note
#clinic defense  #prochoice  #pro-choice 
learn a lesson


Today I saw a picture of a smiling little baby in a cast.  The caption requested that everyone seeing the photo learn a lesson from the smiling baby and, I don’t know, try to be more like the baby, complete with implied condescending fingerwagging.

Like, shit my pants?  Is that what I’m supposed to do here, so that I can be more like this injured becasted baby?  Good for the baby, but fuck you, good captionwriter.  I can decide who to emulate without the hamfisted moralizing of your commentary.

(Source: egryan)

— 2 years ago with 38 notes


iPhone. Duh.

— 2 years ago
What do you think happens when you die? You just turn to dust?

Yes, that’s exactly what happens. #Conversationswithantis

— 2 years ago


You mad.

Seriously. You mad?

(Source: egryan)

— 2 years ago with 34 notes
"what if your mom had aborted you?"

Then I wouldn’t know, you fucking moron.

— 2 years ago with 1 note